Mariska Hargitay Is Still Processing Her Devastating Doc About Her Mother: Its Like a Psychic Surgery

In October, when Mariska Hargitay walked out to a full house of cheering audience members at a SCAD Savannah Film Festival screening of her documentary My Mom Jayne, tears started streaming down her face. The film had already debuted on HBO and made the festival rounds, having launched at Cannes. Still, she felt newly overwhelmed by the response. “There’s so much pain that we’re scared to go near — it’s like an open wound,” she said on stage in a post-screening Q&A. “But the fact of the matter is when we lean into these rough, hard, sharp edges, that’s where true freedom and beauty and liberation and self-love are — on the other side.” She describes the making of the movie as “like a psychic surgery.”

My Mom Jayne marks Hargitay’s directorial debut, a deeply personal endeavor that serves as both a considered reclamation of the legacy of her mother — the late American actress and sex symbol Jayne Mansfield — and a twisty family memoir, culminating in Hargitay publicly revealing the identity of her biological father, Nelson Sardelli, for the first time. (She was raised by the actor Mickey Hargitay.) The film has earned strong reviews and is strongly contending for the best-documentary Oscar, fresh off of a nomination for the equivalent top PGA award.

“I didn’t want to carry my secret anymore, and with this thing that I was trying to do — be loyal to Mickey — I realized that telling the truth about Mickey was a love letter to him… .I’m going to show you what honoring is,” Hargitay said.

Years ago, Hargitay had shared her secret with longtime Law and Order: Special Victims Unit colleague Trish Adlesic as they bonded on the set of that long-running show. During the pandemic, Hargitay started reflecting on her family’s past. “I knew it was unsettling and unresolved for her, and when she said, ’I’m ready,’ I knew exactly what she meant,” said Adlesic, who is a producer on the film. “I wanted to support her in every way possible to help her make the best film that reflected what she needed to learn about Jayne.”

Indeed, in a vulnerable voiceover, the movie tracks Hargitay’s own journey of reconsidering her mother, learning more about her and finally confronting the impact she had on people’s lives. Through to the film’s ending, a heartbreaker of narration from Hargitay directed at her mother, who died at age 34 in 1967, the director reveals herself like never before.

“I’m Captain Olivia Benson on SVU, and I play this very strong, badass, seemingly fearless character — and so people project on me and think ’Oh, she’s so strong, she’s so powerful,’” Hargitay said. “I wish I was like that. The fact is, that’s a part I play and that’s part of me. But this is who I am.”

You can watch the full SCAD Q&A above, which took place in conjunction with the Docs to Watch sidebar and panel. My Mom Jayne is currently streaming on HBO Max.