What could the Cotswolds possibly offer JD Vance? I suggest a swim in one of its rivers | Marina Hyde

The VP of a thousand holidays has done Disneyland and skiing in Vermont. Now it’s time to skive off among the worst people Britain has to offer

I don’t have access to the employment contract, but find myself increasingly intrigued by a question: how many days annual leave does a vice-president of the United States get? In the past five months alone, JD Vance has been on a skiing holiday, then a family trip to Disneyland, then a kayaking jaunt in Ohio – and now, he’s about to pitch up for an extended summer stay in the Cotswolds. More on all those in a bit. But let’s face it: if Vance were a politician in this country, he’d have been fitted with an unflattering holiday-related nickname months ago, and no one would take him remotely seriously.

Still, time for another well-earned rest for Vacay Vance/the right honourable member for the Sun Lounger. And something of a break in tradition with recent times, in which he has preferred to holiday in national parks where the Trump administration has cut half the jobs, perhaps reasoning that if his security can successfully upend the infrastructure to assist his recreation during his stay, then those jobs were never really essential anyway. Only last weekend, the VP and family were holidaying near Caesar Creek Lake in Ohio, where his Secret Service team had the army corps of engineers change the outflow of a lake. Depending on who you believe, this was either to “support safe navigation” of his huge, heavy-boated security detail, or to create “ideal kayaking conditions” for Vance, who was certainly pictured in a canoe over the period. Listen, sometimes JD just wants a lazy river, other times he wants rushing rapids. It’s called public service: look it up.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

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