'This is not a beauty contest': Venables leads best quips of college football Week 13

There isn’t much that coaches like more than winning. But adding an exclamation point after a win at the news conference podium is always a nice bonus.

This weekend, plenty of coaches got the chance to hold court with postgame statements following big wins. From praising resiliency to emptying the playbook, themes varied, but one thing remained constant — happiness to just be 1-0 on the week.

Here are some of the best quips from around the college football world in Week 13.

“It’s not pretty, but this is not a beauty contest. This is football.” — Oklahoma HC Brent Venables

Oklahoma remained in the driver’s seat to host a College Football Playoff game on Saturday, suffocating Missouri‘s offense en route to a 17-6 win at home. The Tigers outgained the Sooners in total yardage 301-276, but a dominant second half by the Oklahoma defense kept the visitors at arm’s length.

Venables, a former defensive coordinator, certainly didn’t mind the low-scoring nature of the contest. Although it might not have been the most aesthetically pleasing game, Venables was more interested in the functional result.

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“Every run he has feels like a car wreck at the end.” — Iowa State HC Matt Campbell

A four-game losing streak seemed to put Iowa State’s season on the skids in the middle of the fall, but the undeterred Cyclones tallied their second win in a row on Saturday over Kansas to record their eighth seven-win season in the past nine years under Campbell.

Playing a big role in the win was running back Carson Hansen, who was a bruising presence as Iowa State piled up 221 total rushing yards. Hansen accounted for 120 of those yards on 22 carries, adding a touchdown as well. Campbell had an interesting description of Hansen’s runs after the Cyclones’ win.

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“That’s the one guy on our team that wants no contact whatsoever.” — NC State HC Dave Doeren

One of the wilder plays of the week came on Friday night, when a kick by Wolfpack punter Caden Noonkester hit the head of a Florida State player and careened back to Noonkester for a live ball fumble recovery.

After the game’s chaotic ending, Doeren was amused by the odds that the improbable recovery came via the player who gets hit the least on the roster — though it’s perhaps not a surprise that Noonkester, listed at 6-foot-6 and 215 pounds on NC State’s roster, was ready to put his body on the line for the play.

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“Not many people can survive what we’ve been through.” — Louisiana HC Michael Desormeaux

A difficult start to the season had Louisiana at 2-6 and on a three-game losing streak at the end of October, but three consecutive wins in November have placed the Ragin’ Cajuns on the cusp of bowl eligibility heading into the season’s final week.

Desormeaux, a program alumnus who has led Louisiana to a bowl game in each of his first three full seasons on the job, expressed his pride in his squad for keeping the fight up and responding to an adversity-laden start.

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“You can’t take plays into the offseason … we’ve got to run them all” — UNLV HC Dan Mullen

UNLV is on the cusp of a 10-win season in Dan Mullen’s first campaign, cruising past Hawaii on Friday night to earn its third consecutive win. The Rebels’ offense has been electric, with UNLV having scored 30 or more points in 10 of its 11 games this season.

Speaking about his offense’s showing against the Rainbow Warriors, Mullen had a simple answer for why the Rebels seemed to have such a variety of plays available — with only a few games left in the season, there are only so many opportunities remaining to empty out the call sheet.